The American Idol results show came in like a lamb and went out like a lion...a great big lion, but I'll get to that.  After some horrendous live performances this season, David "Archie" Archuleta was actually a breath of fresh air, and I wasn't a huge fan during season seven.  He sat at the piano to sing "Imagine," for which he got great praise during his run on AI.

I have to ask, though, why was he gasping for air so badly when he never even rose from his seat the entire time?  Seemed like he needed an inhaler, or his dad to give him a great big whack on the back.  Too mean?  Rihanna showed up wearing a futuristic military rubber suit which, when you've gotten your bootie beaten, is a natural defense.

Again, too mean?  She sounded a'ight performing her new song "Rockstar 101" but, in the words of The Dawg, I wasn't jumpin' out my chair.  And a Kara DioGuardi protege, Jason Derulo, took the stage to sing a medley of "Whatcha Say" and "In My Head".  Do those songs go out to all those who are hard of hearing?  Again, too mean?  It's late, and I lose my filter after a long day.

I don't know what I was listening to versus the judges because I didn't love it, but Simon made sure to give him a "Well done."  Apparently, Simon was even nodding his head along to the performance, which is about as much emotion as he can muster with those tight tees he wears.  And Kara made a big production of how Derulo only had 4 days to put the whole thing together.  That's more than half the time God had for creation.  I'm not all that impressed but, then again, my paycheck doesn't hinge on his success.

After all the time-wasting live performances and the business of moving all the Idol contestants around to mess with our heads, it was quite shocking that it came down to Andrew Garcia and Michael "Big Mike" Lynche.  But the floor really went out from under us when they sent Andrew back to safety!

The guy has endless lives, folks!  In the end, though, despite the rigmarole of the judges trying to act like they were debating, Big Mike garnered the first and only save of the season, and the crowd went wild.  Next week, with Adam Lambert at the mentoring helm (which nearly gave Katie Stevens a heart attack, btw), the save will now cause not one, but two, Idols to leave us.  Will Siobhan and Adam have a big note competition?  Will someone don gigantic iron shoulder pads?  Will Katie Stevens try to get Adam Lambert to change teams?  Only time will tell...