The much anticipated two-night season eleven premiere of American Idol kicked off this week proving once more that Americans will never get enough of this reality competition. Roughly ten thousand hopefuls showed up for the initial day of auditioning which took place in Savannah, Georgia where we were reacquainted with the former Idol judges and one bubbly Seacrest. Randy Jackson was there along with the sickeningly sweet peacekeeper, Jennifer Lopez. The lovely Steven Tyler, with his best purple suit on, was not so much ready for a day of Idol auditions as he was for filling in for one of the members of Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.
Talk about a Jim Henson creation come disturbingly to life. Anyhow, the auditions were off to a surprisingly positive start with a slew of talent peppered with only a few delusional people. There was the baby-faced Mr. Steal Your Girl, aka seventeen-year-old David, whose claim to fame was once being in a local singing contest with last year’s Idol winner, Scotty McCreery. A voice that can contend with Scotty’s, I suppose, deserves to go to Hollywood so the judges sent him through.
There was the tap dancing master, sixteen-year-old Gabby, and a sporty volley ball enthusiast, fifteen year old Shannon, both of which made it through round one. But just when things were going way too smoothly, Jessica showed up. Her alleged background in singing made her sound as though she had this one in the bag, but the peculiar tonal sounds that came from her throat were only enough to place her first in a Kermit the Frog impersonation contest. Are you starting to see the theme here? It was big, fat unanimous “no” for Jessica, but don’t worry, she left on the threat that we’ll see her again at the auditions in Texas. Yaaaaay!
Then there was Shawn whose biggest accomplishment in life so far has been as a successful doppelganger of Ryan Seacrest. The resemblance and near identical voice to boot had the judges absolutely tickled. However, becoming a Seacrest clone will have to remain his only calling as his singing abilities were crap. A few more bad auditions went on throughout the day but we were left with mostly positive results. Among the some of the best, the judges decided to take Amy, the twenty-four-year-old living in a tent in the woods due to hard times, along with brother and sister duo, Schyler and Colton, along for the ride to Hollywood with the rest of the ticket winners.
When day two of auditions sprung up, things only got slightly worse. More people were turned away, like Erica Nowak who had an unusual school girl crush on Steven Tyler, as was African contestant Mawuena whose horrific audition had the judges blown away in a negative kind of way. The saving grace from all of the disaster turned out to be a young pawn shop worker, Phillip Phillips, Jr. Phil busted out some Stevie Wonder for the judges before transitioning into some Michael Jackson, putting his own spin on the famous song “Thriller” with the help of his acoustic guitar. It was the perfect way to end the day and he received a passing ticket.
Episode two took us to Pittsburgh, also known as “The City of Champions”, so the city had a lot to live up to with that moniker. So in walks the very first audition for day one- Heejun Han. The Korean native had some bizarre eccentric qualities going on. He liked making seemingly randomized comments to the Idol staff, at one point even commenting on the size of Ryan Seacrest’s “tiny head”. Despite the oddball behavior, Heejun had a real voice hiding inside and belted out some Michael Bolton near perfectly. It was a surprise to everyone, especially the judges, who sent him through to Hollywood.
Again, it was another two days of surprisingly smooth auditions as more and more were given tickets to continue on, including one young man who had been in his family band since the age of two. Yup, you heard right, a family band complete with mother, father, sisters and brothers- the whole gang! With twenty-some years of practice, it only makes sense that he would find it easy to impress the judges. If you’re not the best singer in the world, you can always try to win them over with everyone’s new favorite fad: planking.
“Professional” planker Patricia Bell showed up in support of her sister, Samantha, who was the one auditioning that day, along with a substantial amount of family and friends to rally and, what else? Collectively plank! I’m not really sure how this helps anything, but okay, I’ll roll with it. Samantha proved her actual talent to the judges and was sent through.
A young Justin Beiber look-alike, Eben, made it through the auditions, as did a New York City street performer, Creighton, and Erika the wedding singer. The judges took pity on a seventeen-year-old Travis, who had tried out at last year’s auditions. We were introduced to Travis’ story of being abandoned by a parent, living in a shelter, and dropping out of high school, and although no one on the judging panel seemed to really be behind him, they offered him a big opportunity and sent him through.
American Idol loves good heart wrenching stories and dramatic tales of overcoming huge hardships, so they saved one of the bigger ones for last. Hallie Day, whose unique name the judges just couldn’t get over, told her story of leaving home for New York at the age of fifteen, trying to make it in an all-girl band, her bout with depression, the events that led to her attempt at suicide, and how her current husband saved her life. The twenty-four-year-old’s soulful sound earned her a golden ticket and was an appropriate end to the Pittsburgh run.
This is just the beginning of the infamous Idol auditions. The premiere weeks started off smoothly which is great, depending on how you look at it I guess. For me, it was a little too quiet and just a little blasé. Some talented people came around, no doubt, but I have yet to feel the real excitement. And where are all the crazies? I think that’s the best part of American Idol auditions, right? Let’s hope that this Sunday’s episode brings a little more energy to the table.